A Good Grasp

Last Monday I heard one of the most inspiring and motivating Ted Talks ever. It was entitled The Three Things I Learned While My plane Crashed (http://www.ted.com/talks/ric_elias.html) The protagonist and teller of the story, Rick Elias, was brief but concise in his speech describing the three things he learned in that traumatic experience. First, the fact that it all changes in an instant; second, that we must reject all negative energy; and third, we have to be the best parent we can.

Even though Rick’s speech seems to be full of commonplaces and clichés, it can be said that he has indeed been given a gift, one that allowed him to see into the future and have the opportunity to come back. Is it possible to learn from this kind of words? Or we just have to go through extreme experiences to see their real meaning?

Although not all of us have been through such an extremely intense event as an imminent plane crash, we all have had to deal with challenging events at some point of our lives. An accident, a surgery or a final exam, a relationship that failed or even a pessimistic relative who criticises everything we do can be examples of them. And, even though it sounds as a cliché, those situations have taught us something, and we wouldn’t know everything we know now if we hadn’t lived them. Moreover, we wouldn’t be the persons we are now. It is such a pity we don’t realize at the exact moment, but after we have managed to succeed (or not).

From my personal experience I can say that life gives us new chances to do what we weren’t able to do before. The chances are that we will encounter difficult situations or moments of uncertainty, but our reactions and actions to face them, are what later will build our personality. But for what we have lived, we wouldn’t be able to grasp their full significance.

In addition, I would like to say that more than being a good parent, I think what is important is being a good person, and the rest will come along.

 

 

A confession

Today’s post is related to something strangely unusual that happened to me. Last Monday, before starting to teach at the secondary school where I work, we had a short but concise conversation with the math teacher; the secretary was also present. I only see them once a week so we don’t have a very close relationship, but the atmosphere of the day contributed to talking about how he felt about teaching at a secondary school. It was rather surprising that this teacher openly stated his opinion as regards his profession. He was extremely disappointed about the students’ pessimistic behavior and attitude towards studying; he claimed that he only came to school because he was obliged to, but he didn’t feel the same energy he did when he was younger – and he is in his late forties!

It is m first experience as a secondary teacher and I can say that it hasn’t been all roses since I started last July. The time I started working coincided with the time they received their first computer ever, so I tried to make allowances for some of my students’ apparent lack of interest. I felt really sad to hear such a confession, because being a teacher might not have been his real vocation in life, which does not let him find a way to solve his problems in the classroom. Even though it made me feel a bit sorry for him, as soon as I went past the door, my class and the future ones did not look bleak. Surely there will be difficulties, but also rewarding moments.

Maybe those students are able to see this teacher’s negative point of view, and they just go with the flow and answer back with the same attitude, or at least, they turn passive and don’t feel much interest.  I think that his saying was due to his personality type, more than an actual educational problem. I hope that in ten years I don’t find myself in this poor teacher’s situation.

Thank You

   I often had the strange feeling about not liking poetry, or not understanding it quite enough – probably I was doing it wrong. The truth of the matter is that I do like reading poetry, but only when I feel the need to do it. I take advantage of that moment of inspiration and write, although the outcome is not what I meant in the first place. It  happened to me  after I read a poem related to the beauties of nature called Lily of the Nile, by Martha Hoffman (http://www.poetryatlas.com/poetry/poem/2449/).

 

 

Thank You

Thanks I give for the time spent with me;

For the moments you shared with no regrets;

For those words uttered in the precise second

You knew I needed them.

 

Together with your warm arms around me

Thanks for each and every laughter and smile

Giving me full pleasure and completeness

With your calling me your modest lily of the Nile.

 

Respect, Care and Admiration Is the how

I can begin to comprise what I feel

For every time we made our love tangible

My loving you I cannot conceal.

 

 

 

 

 

                     

 

 

the cost of Loving

“They all broke the rules. They all crossed into forbidden territory. They all tampered with the laws that lay down who should be loved, and how. And how much.” (The God of Small Things, Roy, A., p. 31)

In my life as a reader, I have come across many works and pieces of art, and as the saying goes, things happen for a reason. The God of Small Things has arrived to remind people, myself included, how the Big, Important Things “lurk unsaid inside”, as Roy brilliantly describes it. Love, and the laws that it is ruled by, is one of the big issues this novel brings to light, especially in a society where love relationships are forbidden if you belong to a different caste than your loved one.

The quotation above has been in my mind since I started reading the book. Are there any laws that lay down who and how we should love? Society rules seem to go that way. If not, Ammu and Velutha’s love story would have had a different outcome. Was Ammu in such a crisis that one only look at her future lover made her fall in love at first sight? Was Velutha in need of a kind female heart? Did he love her from the beginning without even knowing it?  Was that love worth all the pain they knew it would cause? I’m still trying to find the answer.

The reading of the novel has also made me wonder about what the nature of love is. Can somebody love without being loved? Is that real love? Who can say what is real and what is not? I think we all have experienced the feeling; but sometimes it turns out to be passing infatuation. I still haven’t found the answers to those questions. What I did find was a section of a book in a facebook account, which was directly connected to my topic. What it deals with is the “effect” love can produce. The section defines love in simple words:  Nothing is that bad, if it is good for you. Nothing is that good, if it is bad for you. Love is good, and it cannot be bad for you. If it is bad, then it is not love. Who can argue with that?

 https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=632564516775513&set=a.268552099843425.69263.215324371832865&type=1&theater

 

 

 

Are we?

 

 



the truth is not hidden, it is filtered.

 

 



 

   I hardly ever watch a movie in full.  When I have the chance to do it, – when there is a gap between working, studying and raising two kids, and sleeping of course- I take advantage of time and really enjoy watching a good film. Last week I saw Thank You for Smoking (2006), the story of a spokesman who works for a tobacco company in the United States. Nick describes himself as a lobbyist, with a moral flexibility.

   The motto of the film comprises the overall idea of the function Nick fulfils: “he doesn’t hide the truth...He just filters it.” As a lobbyist and vice president of the Academy of Tobacco Studies, he has to stand up for and defend the cigarette industry in the hardest and bizarre situations. His talent consists in using argument, not negotiation. He really enjoys his occupation, and although he officially says he does it to pay the mortgage – “a legal agreement by which a bank lends you money to buy a house”, according to the Oxford dictionary – he confesses that his real motivation is population control.

   After watching the film my mind started wondering. To what extent can truth be manipulated to lobby some companies’ interests, and more specifically, some people’s personal benefit? How many times have we felt that something is not entirely true, as regards some candidate campaign, in the run for a political position during election time? We have come to regard what is said in the media as natural and logical, without realizing that we can doubt and even disagree with what we are told. Are we part of the population that people like Nick seek to control?

   I strongly advise you to see this film!

 

 

Movie trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBELC_vxqhI



Raising Readers

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Raise a Reader

While surfing the net, I came across an article that was entitled “Flash mobs invade parks with books”. What does it mean? Do people go to parks and start reading out loud? Does anyone listen to them? Are they interested? In fact, these spontaneous gatherings catch mostly the attention of children.

The first idea that came to my mind when I started thinking if this was possible here, in Argentina, was a stereotyped one. Probably some people would misbehave, tear the pages when nobody is seeing them, and even take the books home without permission. In other words, they’d steal them. However, as I continued my reading of the article, I realized that the program in charge of those street gatherings actually gives the book as a present. Would this work here?

“Kids these days don’t read enough. They definitely don’t go out enough. They don’t play enough either.” But for the mentioning of the actual place this type of flash mob takes place (and the language it is written in), I would have believed that quotation belonged to someone from Argentina, or even to me. I think that it is necessary to give books, but also to teach how to read them so as to develop our kids’ imagination from the early stages of their life. In addition, it is compulsory to teach how to take care of books, even if they were a gift and have cost nothing.

 

One of the promoters of these events believes that a good part of building a life in a new country comes through books and reading. I would make a further statement and say that it is a good part of building a Life, in any country you are, whether it is your own or not. I can say that your mind broadens when you read a book. Sometimes because it is a great piece of art; some other times because it was not what you expected, and you become aware of that. Nevertheless, I must say that this type of claims is only valid when you are an avid reader, and this can happen when you raise children as readers. It can also happen as an adult, and your reading skills are not developed yet.

Here is the link if you want to pay a look at the article:

 http://www.vancouversun.com/life/Raise+Reader+Flash+mobs+invade+parks+with+books/8930303/story.html

 

 

     

 

 

 

Music in the Universe

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Us-TVg40ExM

                                    Someone to Stand by You

Music is universal. And only a few songs can convey such a message as Stand by Me does. I particularly liked this version of the song (although I only knew the one by Ben King, which is said to have been adapted from gospel) made by Playing for Change Foundation. I enjoyed the first part in which a black man gives his opinion on the idea of having someone beside you, and I quote: “no matter whom you are, or how much money you’ve got, you are going to need someone to stand by you”. Strong words. And to a certain extent, also sad, in that he claims that invariably we will be in need of someone. However, as the lyrics start, I feel like singing, and having a bit of hope that there must be someone out there, to stand by me.

 There are no rules for feeling. Every one of them feels the music inside, to their own personal rhythm, no matter who they are, or where they come from. They convey something particular according to their origin. They are not famous, even though  they are true artists, just unknown people in the street with their instruments. Violins, tambourines, drums, harmonicas, and a rubboard -which is made with a washboard and played with metal thimbles on the player’s fingers- provide their unique touch. In spite of the excellent editing, the creativity and diversity of people around the world is present in the video. As I previously said, there is a message. The message I’m talking about is the one of hope and brotherhood among peoples of the world. In my opinion, the song embraces the possibility of acceptance between cultures and that there is a connection somewhere, especially through music.

 

Playing for a change around the world

Careless

Small Words

 “‘D’you know what happens when you hurt people?’ Ammu said. ‘When you hurt people, they begin to love you less. That’s what careless words do. They make people love you a little less.’

A cold moth with unusually dense dorsal tufts landed lightly on Rahel’s heart. Where its icy legs touched her, she got goose bumps. Six goose bumps on her careless heart.”

The God of Small Things, A. Roy, P 112

 

 

 

The God of Small things is a story by an Indian female writer that deals with relationships, actions, feelings, attitudes and words in an apparently dysfunctional family. Had those words been uttered by a stranger, they would not have caused such an effect on Rahel’s mind. They came out of her mother’s mouth, and they were so strong that I could actually feel the cold legs of the moth alighting upon the seven-year-old child’s heart.  How many times do we speak such words, without noticing the effect they have on others, and most importantly, on children? What is so shocking about this is that it occurs in an everyday event –leaving a cinema- and no one notices, not even this mother, the extent to which the mind of this little girl is deeply upset.

Feelings are hurt all the time, by people who we care about. Nonetheless, we do not realize that we ourselves do it, although we are familiar with the experience and we wish not to be “less loved”. Anger leads us not to place a filter between what we say and what we feel in those moments, and not measuring the consequences of our words.  Although we wish for this not to happen, there will be times when careless words will slip and go straight to the most sensible spot in the heart of a person. But for what is explained later in the novel, I could not start to understand this mother and her careless words towards her own daughter. A sad childhood being afraid of her father’s mistreatment, towards her mother and herself, shaped her into this cruel mother. I would say  I understand, but not justify.

 

 

 

 

teeny tiny

                                               

The Importance of a Good Attitude

My post this week is related to an event at my daughter’s kinder garden. It was her birthday and we decided, my daughter Julieta and I, it would be a good idea to have a small party at her classroom. Everybody was excited since they were going to get a balloon and eat delicious stuff, a cake included. Among my daughter’s classmates was Bruno, who was really interested in how it was that I had made the palitos salados we brought. He kindly agreed to lend my son his glass, since he was not going to have anything to drink, as he explained that it was actually a cup, not a glass, but it did the job anyway. Another classmate, Genaro, was very excited since it was one of her best friends’ birthday. As he saw us arrive in the classroom, he grabbed a chair and sat right next to Julieta. At his back there was a window open; there were other children playing outside, and one of them, with whom Genaro had a previous argument, peered closely at what we were doing. In that exact moment Genaro had to make a point clear in front of everybody, and he said what the other boy had called him. “He said I was…” and pronounced the worst of the worst four letter words in Spanish you can imagine (in fact it had seven letters). The teacher couldn’t believe her ears and then told him off.

And there she was, a girl with the sweetest big hazel eyes, curly hair and a missing front tooth, which she made me notice with her index. She was also very happy to have a birthday celebration and she told me about her being keen on colour purple. She wanted to make sure she would get a purple balloon, but she was afraid that someone took it before she did. I assured her that she would get one at the end of the school day. Fortunately there was a purple one left in the bag of balloons. I showed it to her and I told her that she must remind me to inflate it, since I would keep it in my pocket. She also asked for a balloon for her brother, since he was at the classroom next door. It was indeed what happened then, and she seemed very grateful for that.

The following day she arrived at the kinder garden with her mum. When she saw me she said to her mother: “she is the one. She is my friend.”

Every time he sees me she calls me out: “friend!” and she gives me a hug. I’m proud to say that with a teeny tiny attitude I have a new friend now, Azul, at least in this stage of her life.

The Hijab

http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/2770/

After reading Marcelas's post (/mclak19.blogspot.com.ar/2013/08/cultural-oppression.html?showComment=1377914652883#c6558972577770965451)  I became interested in finding out the reason why Muslim women wear a veil. From an official point of view (see the link above)
 among other things, it is believed that the words veil or scarf have become interchangeable with the Arabic term hijab.
 This source also provides a controversial perspective about the reasons why women should wear a hijab. What caused impact on me the most was that “in the last 30 years hijab has emerged as a sign of Islamic consciousness”.  Many women think that wearing the hijab is an indicative of their desire to be part of an “Islamic revival”, mostly in places where the practice of Islam is discouraged or even forbidden. This explanation seems to be based on the verses of the Quran which refer to obedience to God and the idea of being known as respectable women.
Furthermore, a movement away from consumerism seems to be encouraged by this Muslim viewpoint.

They say that women make their own personal decisions and independent choices in wearing it. They exercise their right and are set free from an unrealistic fashion culture. Even so, hijabs liberate women from stereotypes and images dictated by the media.

Are all these reasons enough? Do women appreciate to be covered and only permitted to show their hands and feet? Does somebody have the right to prevent this from happening, considering that this behavior has taken root on sacred writings?

As an act of faith, as a right, as a personal choice, as a symbol, or whatever it is called, it could not be understood only from our western view on freedom and women’s rights. We are a far cry from comprehending what a Muslim woman feels when hearing “take the veil off”.

 

 

Steve Jobs' speech

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=UF8uR6Z6KLc

My first reaction while I was listening to Steve Jobs’ speech was that I’d already heard it somewhere else. All the time we read or hear inspirational quotes like the ones Jobs succeeds in using to create a hopeful atmosphere for the newly graduates at Stanford University. Paraphrasing Paulo Coelho in one of his famous novels, the Universe conspires for you to achieve what you really want, and that is exactly what Jobs conveys when retelling his own life experience. He also insists on seeing the opportunities in life’s difficulties and that every failure gives us a new chance to start over.

Live the day as if it were the last one; remember we are all going to die anyway, seems to be the most striking point in Jobs’ talk How to Live Until You Die. Death is the only thing that has no solution, my mother says, and she has a point in that we should not get extremely worried in every day setback that we face. Instead, we should take into account that life is ours and we should do our best, no matter in which field. It is good to be reminded about that every once in a while, since we tend to forget what is really important for us, due to the everyday hustle and bustle we live in.

  Do what you love and love what you do, until you die. I totally agree with Steve Jobs.